It’s crazy to think about everything we live through as twenty-somethings. Some of the most crucial and important times of our lives happen during THIS DECADE. It’s insane. And it’s also why the drinking age happens in our early twenties because wine just like, makes everything better.
I spend a lot of time alone, which also means I spend a lot of time reflecting and thinking of where my life is now and how I got to this place. I also spend a lot of time on social media (#TypicalMillennial), so I am constantly seeing updates from peers about where they are in THEIR life. As I was scrolling through Facebook the other day, in a matter of 20 minutes, I saw two different high school friends get engaged, I saw pictures from a wedding, I saw an end-of-summer couple trip, and I saw pictures from a Bachelorette party in Tahoe.
Emotional OVERLOAD, from your fellow single twenty-something.
Emotional, because I have so many emotions about it. Of course I’m happy for all of these new and old relationships taking their love to the next level, but I also feel a bit of sadness. Sadness in the most selfish-form, but nonetheless.. Sadness.
I’m twenty-seven, single, and still trying to get through college. Is there something wrong with me? *I ask myself as I sip my Pinot Grigio and bury myself in my favorite self-help books*
No. There’s not. But every so often I have to remind myself of this, because sometimes my emotions take over my head and my heart and it does not allow me to think clearly and think logically. I know that this isn’t the first time this wave of sadness and loneliness will come over me, and I know it won’t be the last. But what I do know is I will get through it, because I have now survived seven years in my twenties and I know exactly what I need to do to get myself out of these funks and back into reality.
The thing about low times in your life, is that everyone copes differently. You cannot rely on what your best friend does to get over their hard moments, as your inner-happiness may come from a completely different place. But, in hopes my ways will spark some type of inspiration for my fellow 20somethings in a rut, here are some things I do when I’m ready to say BYE to rock bottom and HELLO to my best possible life.
Social Media | A Blessing and a Curse
-I’m a millennial. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t captivated and slightly-obsessed with technology and social media, it’s just our way of life this generation. And although there are so many great and inspiring aspects of social media, too much of it can be a hit to your self-esteem, easily. My biggest tip for my 20somethings going through rough waters — Give yourself a social media cleanse.
Here’s the problem with these platforms when we are in a vulnerable state: WE COMPARE OUR BEHIND THE SCENE LIFE TO EVERYONE ELSE’S HIGHLIGHT REEL.
And then.. We get sad. And confused. And wonder why we may be struggling so much in our life while everyone else on #Insta is flourishing. I make this mistake of getting sucked into this virtual reality, if you will, and forget that 98% of what is shown on social media is the good aspects of people’s lives. Most are going to choose showing them sipping champagne at a fancy club and not them crying themselves to sleep after a hard day. It’s just how these social media platforms work. And when you are depressed and lonely, scrolling through Facebook and seeing people out with friends and boyfriends and college roommates can get really, really hard, because it leaves you to believe that everyone else is having the best of times in life, and you are stuck home on a Friday night drowning in tears and self-pity. Don’t do this. If you are going to continue using social media, you have to remind yourself that everything you see is not always as it is. But my advice? Avoid it until you are feeling like YOU again.
A clear head can make all of the difference.
Cry and Stuff
-“And stuff“. What am I, 6?! Let me be a little more specific: Cry and let yourself feel all of the feels.. Seriously. Sometimes a good, ugly cry by yourself is exactly what you need. We are 20somethings, meaning we are faced with stressful situations on the DAILY. It only seems right that at different moments in our life we are given permission to have Adult Meltdowns every so often.
And after your cry, grab yourself a glass of your favorite wine and bring yourself to a place where you really allow yourself to reflect and evaluate what the f is going on. Obviously, you’re upset. Why?
Is it because you feel like everyone around you is dating and/or married, and you don’t even have a swipe right option for a boyfriend?
Okay, that’s fine. And understandable. But go a little deeper. Figure out why you don’t have a boyfriend.
Is it because you are still feeling the impact of the dysfunctional breakup with your ex?
Is it because you are not at a place in your life where you are ready to settle down?
Is it because you are too self-conscious to go out and flirt and even make an effort to find a guy?
If so, GOOD. Now you’re getting somewhere! All of the above are things in your life you can change and work on, which will then open up the possibility to get into a new relationship. You just have to put in work for yourself FIRST.
Also, after your done “crying AND STUFF”, you may remember how badass you are as a single twenty-something and go back to watching Netflix in your ugly pajamas and stuffing your face with Doritos and no judgements. A clear head can also remind you that working on yourself and NEVER, EVER settling makes you stand out among the rest. I pride myself on this mindset, so you should too!
It’s all about balance, ya know?
Surround Yourself W| Positive People, Things, And Places
-It is crazy what a good hearted person can do for your soul. Sometimes when I am struggling with life, I tend to isolate myself. I shut down. I stay in my room and ignore my calls and texts.
I actually recommend all of the above, but only temporarily. If you stay isolated, it is hard to get out of your own head. Spend time alone, and then force yourself to go out and do things you enjoy, with people that make you happy. This is literally what best friends are for: Picking you up when you are down and sticking with you through thick and thin.
Sometimes a night out with your bestie is everything you never knew you needed. Get out of your comfort zone and switch up your routine. If you keep doing the same things day after day, you will keep feeling the same way.. Day after day.
When you are sad, depressed, in a funk, etc, etc, going out and socializing can be extremely daunting and exhausting. I get it. But after about 10 minutes of you warming up you will most likely notice a shift in your moods and a new wave of optimism. There is life outside of your room and outside of your own head, you just have to get yourself up and out there to experience it.
All of these coping mechanisms are easier said than done.. Absolutely. But it is truly in the moments where you get out of your comfort zone that some of the best possibilities come into your life.
An easy life is not a realistic life, so always remember to fight through your struggles with optimism and things will work out exactly how they are supposed to.
With a heart full of empathy and understanding,